Asking the saints to pray for me and understanding how the Blessed Theotokos fit in with worship of God was the biggest stumbling block for me when learning about Orthodoxy. And now, nearly two decades later, I think of her, call her blessed name and ask for her prayers daily. She is a part of that glorious Court of Christ, alive in heaven and a supreme example for women all over the world.
Incidentally, one of the most profound things that destroyed my stumbling block was learning about the myrrh-streaming Iveron icon of Hawaii. The realization dawned that the Blessed Virgin weeps sacred tears for our healing 🌷
I can study her, venerate her, love her but I haven't been able to get past the point of praying to anyone but the trinity. And calling anyone else Father but The Father. You'll have to help me here when you get time. I'd feel like I was wasting my time praying to her or the saints.
Thank you so much for reading the piece and for sharing your honest thoughts. This is exactly the kind of conversation I hoped the article would spark. What you’re describing is such a common and understandable place to land, especially having grown up emphasizing only direct prayer to the Trinity (which, of course, is always primary and never displaced). You’re not alone in feeling that praying to Mary or the saints might somehow “waste time” or take away from God. I used to wrestle with that too, until I met St. Nicholas.
The heart of it, for me, is this: it’s not about choosing between God and His family. God wants us to have relationships with His family. God is very much about community and family. Praying with the saints, or to them (basically talking), is learning to love and pray within the whole family of God. We don’t pray to Mary or the saints instead of the Trinity; what we do is ask them to pray with us and for us to the Trinity. It’s the same instinct that makes us text a friend, “Please pray for me,” or ask our church community to lift up a need. Have you ever asked those here, behind the enemy lines in this world to pray? Of course, yet what about those closes to Christ already fully alive in His eternal kingdom? The fact is that the saints are more alive than we are. They are fully united to Christ, perfected in love, and able to intercede with pure hearts; what powerful prayer partners!
That’s why the Divine Liturgy (or even the Psalms prayed in the Church’s tradition) feels so different from praying alone. It trains this communal prayer, it teaches us to pray with God's family, in unity. In the Liturgy we’re not inventing new words; we’re joining the very prayers the saints have prayed for centuries: “Lord, have mercy,” the cry of the tax collector, the prodigal, the thief on the cross. We pray the Psalms with David’s voice because David is alive in Christ. When we face the same battles he did, it feels natural to say, “David, you know this struggle, intercede for me.” The same goes for Mary. She isn’t a rival to Jesus; she’s His mother, the one who knows how to love Him with a mother’s heart. At the wedding at Cana she simply said, “They have no wine,” and Jesus acted. She still does that for us, helping us love her Son better, teaching us chastity, obedience, and trust because she lived those virtues.
I get why it can feel uncomfortable at first. Our culture trains us to put more trust in celebrities, sports teams, or politicians than in the actual family God has given us in Christ. This culture works very hard to usurp and blind us to the transcendent nature of the Kingdom of God. But once you start to know the saints through Tradition and the Liturgy, they stop feeling distant and start feeling like the big brothers and sisters who have your back.
If you ever want to try it in the simplest way, you could just say something like:
“Mary, you love Jesus more than anyone, help me love Him better. Pray for me.”
No pressure, no formula, just relationship. And if that still doesn’t sit right, that’s okay too. God honors the honest heart.
Asking the saints to pray for me and understanding how the Blessed Theotokos fit in with worship of God was the biggest stumbling block for me when learning about Orthodoxy. And now, nearly two decades later, I think of her, call her blessed name and ask for her prayers daily. She is a part of that glorious Court of Christ, alive in heaven and a supreme example for women all over the world.
Incidentally, one of the most profound things that destroyed my stumbling block was learning about the myrrh-streaming Iveron icon of Hawaii. The realization dawned that the Blessed Virgin weeps sacred tears for our healing 🌷
That's awesome! I struggle with the Theotokos. Her purity and chastity overwhelm me.
St. Nicholas really opened my eyes to the living reality of the Saints and how active they are through time within Christ and His Kingdom. I wrote about St. Nicholas here: https://www.truthandprosperity.com/p/st-nicholas-is-the-real-thing-not?r=71ga9g
I can study her, venerate her, love her but I haven't been able to get past the point of praying to anyone but the trinity. And calling anyone else Father but The Father. You'll have to help me here when you get time. I'd feel like I was wasting my time praying to her or the saints.
Thank you so much for reading the piece and for sharing your honest thoughts. This is exactly the kind of conversation I hoped the article would spark. What you’re describing is such a common and understandable place to land, especially having grown up emphasizing only direct prayer to the Trinity (which, of course, is always primary and never displaced). You’re not alone in feeling that praying to Mary or the saints might somehow “waste time” or take away from God. I used to wrestle with that too, until I met St. Nicholas.
The heart of it, for me, is this: it’s not about choosing between God and His family. God wants us to have relationships with His family. God is very much about community and family. Praying with the saints, or to them (basically talking), is learning to love and pray within the whole family of God. We don’t pray to Mary or the saints instead of the Trinity; what we do is ask them to pray with us and for us to the Trinity. It’s the same instinct that makes us text a friend, “Please pray for me,” or ask our church community to lift up a need. Have you ever asked those here, behind the enemy lines in this world to pray? Of course, yet what about those closes to Christ already fully alive in His eternal kingdom? The fact is that the saints are more alive than we are. They are fully united to Christ, perfected in love, and able to intercede with pure hearts; what powerful prayer partners!
That’s why the Divine Liturgy (or even the Psalms prayed in the Church’s tradition) feels so different from praying alone. It trains this communal prayer, it teaches us to pray with God's family, in unity. In the Liturgy we’re not inventing new words; we’re joining the very prayers the saints have prayed for centuries: “Lord, have mercy,” the cry of the tax collector, the prodigal, the thief on the cross. We pray the Psalms with David’s voice because David is alive in Christ. When we face the same battles he did, it feels natural to say, “David, you know this struggle, intercede for me.” The same goes for Mary. She isn’t a rival to Jesus; she’s His mother, the one who knows how to love Him with a mother’s heart. At the wedding at Cana she simply said, “They have no wine,” and Jesus acted. She still does that for us, helping us love her Son better, teaching us chastity, obedience, and trust because she lived those virtues.
I get why it can feel uncomfortable at first. Our culture trains us to put more trust in celebrities, sports teams, or politicians than in the actual family God has given us in Christ. This culture works very hard to usurp and blind us to the transcendent nature of the Kingdom of God. But once you start to know the saints through Tradition and the Liturgy, they stop feeling distant and start feeling like the big brothers and sisters who have your back.
If you ever want to try it in the simplest way, you could just say something like:
“Mary, you love Jesus more than anyone, help me love Him better. Pray for me.”
No pressure, no formula, just relationship. And if that still doesn’t sit right, that’s okay too. God honors the honest heart.